Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
