I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
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dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
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Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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