what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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