State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
