I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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