it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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