just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
