Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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