When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize