What tipped you off? The sombrero?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
