So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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