i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Is it penis luge time yet?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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