Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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