A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
