If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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