I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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