i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
