I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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