adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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