Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize