A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
