Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
