Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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