maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
