I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize