I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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