How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
