my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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