Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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