I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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