in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize