What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
