Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
