It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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