Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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