Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
