If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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