I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Green mimosas i think yes
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
