I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
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