Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
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