just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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