I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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