I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
