Non-Jews are for practice
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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