I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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