Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
