Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
