Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize