I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
