I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
