I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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