Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
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I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
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I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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