My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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