I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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