what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
