i barfeds in our rink
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
