I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
