I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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