Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
